Today was a great day, and I have been practicing edging. it’s good to no fap but you don’t want to forget about sex completely, this is also bad. if you don’t use it you lose it. Today was a great day so far waking up on my couch to my kids at 8:20am. kids are great alarm clocks by the way. We hung out, I played video games with them and bounced a big featherweight beachball off their heads a few times for amusement lol they need to stop growing. I ate a banana and drank an ensure, I skipped the iodine, magnesium and zinc today. I was awoken earlier today by a friend of mine that asked me if I was able to go into work today at 5:30am in the morning. I don’t know why I answered the phone but I did. (I had just fallen asleep at 4:30am). I was immediately hit with the question and I vaguely responded saying that I had to find someone to watch my kids and I would get back to her but I never did, I just went back to sleep. pfft, I really need to put my phone on silent. She wanted an explanation for why I didn’t get back and I told her which she thanked me, meh whatever..
Today I was contacted by one of my debt collectors trying to collect a debt. The debt was originally owned by American express. The debt was sold to a collections agency, which now another company ( i forget the name) owns the debt. Before the American express had sold the debt, I told them I wanted to buy the debt from them before they had sold it for profit. American express no longer owns the debt, but it is still debt to them but now they can write this unpaid for debt as a tax credit to where they still make money on this debt. I explained this to them and gotten nowhere with the man from India who tried to have a payment processed in order to bring my account up to date. I was fascinated that a man from India was calling me which I proceeded to ask him what is his favorite food and how his family was doing, he insisted we kept talking about the debt. I asked him how much he was making an hour which he did not want to tell me so I assumed he worked for an indian slave camp which if he even made any money trying to collect peoples unpaid for debt. But anyways the new agency had called me and I had told them I wanted to send them a money order for the minimum amount due in order to bring my account to current. I asked for the address where I needed to send this money order. I swear to you I could have been pulling teeth in order to get this address from the lady. The company is based in Pheonix Arizona. They will be receiving a letter from my shortly (future content).
I am now currently at work. I am watching first amendment audits. I have been packing my lunch saving money. All the money I can save. Cash is king my friends, but don’t fuck up the trust fund. I also have been on youtube where I have discovered a new youtube channel which one video the youtuber had uploaded made a lot of sense and the views he had put to words I see the same. Shoutout: Foster Ebayy. Video SOULLESS BEINGS. I have been trying to relay this message myself but never could find the right time to. I had stumbled on this channel.
So its been a whole week now since I have talked to the girl I was dating. I kinda have left off where I have been before I had met her. Somehow that state of mind and feelings had carried over, I guess this is what a week of being sober and not smoking cigarettes does to me. actually feeling my feelings for what they are and not trying to compress them and regurgitate them out when trying to relate to someone. I guess I know now the power of secrets and everyone doesn’t have to know everything. I would think that if I would explain the monsters in my head that someone would understand me and see them like I see them. It just turns out it gives them power over them also, basically the reigns to my pain and glory. I have been mistaken. I wanted true divinity and unity, but their/my vibrations carried me elsewhere.
There is a lot of pondering and manifestations going on in my head. I know there are things out there that will come to me somewhere, somehow, I just have to be patient. I hope everyone is being the best person that they can be or at least trying to be, for we are all in this together. Thank you for reading, Peace .