Just another day in the shits

Today I was woken by my nephew and his girl, knocking on my door and trying to open while it was locked. They had brought there two babies which they are adorable. I was in my boxers sleeping on the couch because I was too lazy to go to my bed, and I must of been watching TV some movie called LOVE on Netflix.

Yesterday I was sitting in the same place I am now, on my same laptop working for the same company, doing the same thing basically wearing the same clothes (I have new boxers on.) repeating the same in my box, relaxed, cool calm and collective. After work I had helped buddy of mine moving a large armoire that he had purchased. I drive a van. I went to pick him up which he was drunk being it was late at night. i told him to bring me some beer but all he had was captain so I drank a cup of captain. We had driven about 25 minutes to the seller’s house. we arrived and measured the armoire to see if it would fit which it did on its back. we then drove back and dropped it off at his house and I left and went home. I had gotten home and my niece was missing so I asked and was told she was at a Kava lounge with her friends.

So I convince her boyfriend to go and we then drove to the place where they sell the kava and kratom. It is a pretty chill spot and we just chilled, there were a few girls in there but I was inclined to say anything witty to get their attention. two girls one was a pretty Asian girl wearing a sundress with long straight black hair, high heels, the other was a white girl with no makeup, also pretty but with dirty blond in a ponytail, they had stood up from the couch and stood close to where I could hear their conversation. The one in the sundress was saying to the other, ” everybody is so young in here at least 18.” she repeated this a couples times to where I just had to say something.. I looked at her and said “not everyone in here is so young” which she replied “I am 27” I then replied “I am 26.” and before she could reply her friend had jumped into the convo and came really close to me so I could hear her, and she had a determined face on. She had said to me “I know you, I know your face, you look very familiar, you use to hang out with so and so what is your is your name?” I replied I still hang out with so and so I just seen them last week, my name is Thomas What is yours? She had told me her name which I knew exactly who she was from her name, it’s not a common name. I was like “omg I barely recognized you.” From when I had remembered seeing her 5 years or more ago she was very attractive. not to sound like a jerk but we all can say some people age worse than others and life can take over and really kick ur ass in the face because she wasn’t as attractive as she was back in the day, but of course, she could take care of herself and regain the beauty she once had as long as she’s willing to. some people just can’t help it and that’s the facts of life.

We were drinking the Kava and everyone besides my niece was complaining. Her boyfriend had threw up outside. we were chillin’. We left at 1240amish and went back home. I was DJ playing mainly Kevin gates (most requested) and I was also playing Saint Jhn (great artist) drinking miller’s beer smoking new ports killing myself slowly but whatever I am going to die anyway. I then went to sleep.

Today I had eaten a tuna fish sand which so far. waking up at 11am hanging out than taking a shower. Before I took a shower I did another session of no fap edging, remember you retain seamen but you do not lose the sensation or forget about the feeling. Like a muscle, this has to be kept strong for a vital sense of awareness. Sexual energies are a big player in survival and drive. Sex can be easy when you are aware of things in ur environment, yourself and other things such as ur own attraction. You don’t have to necessarily be good looking the main thing is, confidence. This confidence needs to be a stain that can’t be wiped off (Lil Wayne lol). Sex can be easy and one of the most powerful forms of enlightenment, healing powers, stability, and a sense of worth. But be careful who you have sex with, feelings and emotions get attached, and being self-aware of these things is all that matters. some people need attachments, some people expect them, some people manipulate for game, some people are hoes, some people are celibate, and so forth. I am aware of everything, I wish I could have someone on the same level as me such as being able to stand back and perceive the bigger picture on a similar frequency like I can. I know perhaps these women are hard to attract without material experiences perhaps maybe I am wrong. But My experience with her experience makes it all the better, and id only want the best.

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